School-Room Humour — A Closer Reading
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Before opening School-Room Humour — A Closer Reading, the edition data offers a quick orientation: 27,747 words, 2 hr 1 min estimated reading time, and 4 detected text sections.
The text analysis averages about 14.4 words per sentence, while the detected sections provide another way to judge how the source is divided.
Project Gutenberg metadata also associates the work with “English wit and humor,” connecting these edition facts with the source record’s subject description.
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- Title & short description10 pts
- Source metadata20 pts
- Text length15 pts
- Chapters / structure15 pts
- EPUB file integrity20 pts
Total of 100 points, scaled to a 2.5-5.0 range. Editions with an empty description or a missing EPUB file are not scored.
Read the Text
CHAPTER II. CHILDREN'S WITTICISMS CRITICALLY CONSIDERED 14
CHAPTER III. A BUDGET OF QUAINT DEFINITIONS 28
CHAPTER IV. "I NOW TAKE MY PEN IN HAND" 38
CHAPTER V. THE RELIGIOUS DIFFICULTY 72
CHAPTER VI. THE FOND PARENT 89
CHAPTER VII. LITTLE SCIENTISTS AT SEA 97
CHAPTER VIII. A MISCELLANEOUS COLLECTION 105
A LITTLE GENERAL DISQUISITION.
TEACHER: "_What does B.C. stand for?_" SCHOLAR: "_Before Christ!_" TEACHER: "_Good! Now what does B.A. stand for?_" SCHOLAR: "_Before Adam!_"
It is not to be denied that the life of the schoolmaster is always exacting, usually tedious, and occasionally irritating. It is not to be denied that long-enduring patience, untiring perseverance, and philosophical resignation are only the first three of the many qualities essential to success. But still the drudgery of teaching has its compensations. And they are the more acceptable because of their rare charm. There, in the schoolmaster's keeping, is the youthful mind. What may he not do with it? What forgetfulness of the dreary round of toil the very contemplation of the situation compels! And when his task is achieved, and the finished product of his labour has passed out into the world, with what quiet and ineffable satisfaction the schoolmaster reflects upon the part he played in the making of men. In the days of my schoolmastering I fell into this mood always--gently carried thence by some beneficent ministering angel--when wearied and worried at the close of the long day's toil; and in that mood was more balm than in many sedatives and more sereneness than in much repose. This is the schoolmaster's first great compensation.
But there is that other. There is the agreeable amazement that the working of the fresh child-mind is always provoking. And in this the schoolmaster is regularly furnished with food for pleasant reflection and for engaging conjecture day by day throughout the whole of his pedagogic career. "Child-study" and "Psychology" have in recent times taken severely scientific shape, and have fallen under the ægis of Government Departments and into Government Syllabuses. Good! But the least observant and the least interested of all the schoolmasters of the land, long before the Board of Education ever added "Child-study" to its quaint if not exactly terrifying terminology, have never failed to arrive empirically at certain broad conclusions with regard to the child-mind which have been reached by practical and altogether delightful daily experiences. Heaven forbid that I should unduly weary the reader with disquisitions on these conclusions. But, at any rate, I may acceptably rehearse some of the experiences.
Now I admit at once that very many of the artlessly amusing things which are alleged to have been uttered by that prime unconscious humorist, the schoolboy, are quite apocryphal. They have been ingeniously excogitated by their unabashed and artful elders for the purpose of creating a laugh. They used to say that quill pens survived in the office of the Board of Education in order that the Inspectors and other officials, in the operation of persistently trimming them, might never be without something to do. That is absurd. There is always the profitable preoccupation of manufacturing funny puerile answers to inspectorial hypothetical questions. Why not? The proceeding is innocent enough. But it _does_ tend to make one incredulous. For example, I was once told that a London Board School child defined "_a lie_" as "_an abomination in the sight of the Lord, but a very present help in time of trouble_." It is possible, remotely possible. But it is extremely unlikely. Then when I am told that a youngster described "_the liver_" as "_an infernal organ_," I see visions of a not fully-occupied civil servant suffering acutely from an attack of chronic indigestion which has put him badly off his drive. So, too, when I am told that a Bristol youngster once wrote, "_The bowels are five in number, namely a, e, i, o and u_," like the Scotsman, "I hae ma doots!" Then there is the classic answer to the question: "What proof have we from the Bible that it is not lawful to have more than one wife"--"_Because it says no man can serve two masters!_" No child ever said _that_. And belonging to the same category is the following. The teacher asked: "If one man walking at the rate of three miles an hour gets half an hour's start of another man walking at the rate of four miles an hour, when will the second man overtake the first?" The allegation is that the small boy replied: "_Please, sir, at the first public-house!_" But I know that small boy. He is a wag, it is true; but he doesn't wear knickerbockers.
Dr. Macnamara's School-Room Humour opens with a teacher asking what B.C. stands for, and a scholar replying "Before Christ!"—then, asked what B.A. stands for, answering "Before Adam!" This pattern of logical misstep sets the tone for a collection built on the gap between adult expectation and child reasoning. The book is structured not as a narrative but as a series of themed chapters, each gathering anecdotes from teachers across Britain. Macnamara, a former schoolmaster and Member of Parliament, thanks the directors of the Schoolmaster and his teacher friends for the material. The result is a documentary record of classroom humour at the turn of the century, preserved in the voices of both pupils and parents.
The Structure of the Collection
The book is divided into eight chapters, each with a distinct focus. After a general disquisition, Macnamara moves through children's witticisms, quaint definitions, letters home, religious confusion, parental complaints, scientific howlers, and a miscellaneous section. This arrangement allows the reader to see patterns across categories: the same kind of misunderstanding appears in definitions of gravity and in notes about eczema. The chapters are not essays but anthologies, with each anecdote standing alone. The preface to the second edition notes that Macnamara added "the best from my collection since the first publication," suggesting the book grew by accretion rather than design. The third edition adds a picture cover but no new content. This structure makes the book easy to dip into, but also reveals the compiler's method of gathering and sorting material from multiple sources.
Recurring Images: The Note from Home
One of the most vivid recurring elements is the parent's excuse note. These letters appear in several chapters, and they share a distinctive voice: phonetic spelling, missing punctuation, and a blend of deference and defiance. A grandmother writes that her granddaughter "suffer with a bad feat" and has "had 2 wounds an it." Another parent threatens: "if you dont give it to him by fair means you shall by foul." The notes often contain malapropisms—"Inflamation in the Consols" for inflammation of the consols (a type of government bond)—and reveal the economic pressures behind absences: children stay home to help with herring or haymaking. These letters are not presented as jokes at the parents' expense; they are evidence of a system where written communication between home and school was fraught with difficulty. The humour lies in the gap between intention and execution, but the notes also document real social conditions.
Movement Between Scenes: Classroom to Home
The book moves fluidly between the classroom and the domestic sphere. A chapter on "Little Scientists at Sea" gives us a child's definition: "Gravity was discovered by Isaac Walton. It is chiefly noticeable in the autumn when the apples are falling from the leaves." This is pure classroom humour, relying on the teacher's knowledge of the correct answer. But the next chapter might contain a parent's letter about a child's illness, written from the kitchen table. The juxtaposition creates a layered picture: the teacher hears one version of events, the parent another. Macnamara does not comment on these contrasts; he simply places them side by side. The effect is to show that school-room humour is not confined to the school-room. It spills out into notes, into home conversations, and into the very language families use to describe their lives. The movement between scenes is abrupt, but it mirrors the way humour itself travels across boundaries.
The Voice of the Child
Throughout the collection, the child's voice is preserved in short bursts. A young geographer declares: "If the earth did not revolt it would be either all equal days or all equal nights." The word "revolt" instead of "revolve" is a classic confusion, but it also suggests a child's imaginative grasp of the concept—the earth as a rebellious body. Another child, asked for a definition of faith, offers: "Faith is what makes you believe what you know to be untrue." This epigram appears on the title page, and it captures the book's central insight: children often arrive at unexpected truths through error. Macnamara does not correct these mistakes; he presents them as artefacts. The humour is gentle, but it is also analytical. By collecting these utterances, he creates a record of how children process the language of instruction. The voice is never sentimentalised; it is simply quoted, with all its misspellings and logical leaps intact.
Readers approaching School-Room Humour should treat it as a primary source rather than a joke book. The humour is period-specific, and some references—like "Consols" or the role of the attendance officer—may require context. But the book rewards attention to the details of language and social history. It is best read in short sessions, letting each anecdote stand on its own. The structure is loose, so there is no need to read straight through. Instead, follow a theme: trace the notes from parents, or the scientific howlers, and watch how the same patterns recur. Macnamara's collection is a quiet archive of voices that would otherwise be lost.
There’s something tender about old schoolbooks—the way a child’s honest mistake can still make you smile, years later. I felt that gentle warmth again reading School-Room Humour, and it reminded me of how another quiet book, The Training of a Forester — A Closer Reading, lingers with the same patient affection for its subject, almost like a fond memory you didn’t know you’d kept.
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